Vampire Academy Chapter 13

THIRTEENTHE AFTERMATH OF JESSE AND Ralfs lies was ab stunned as horrible as Id expected. The totally counselling I survived was by putting blinders on, by ignoring ever soyone and everything. It kept me fair notwithstanding hardly I hated it. I felt equivalent crying all the time. I deep in thought(p) my appetite and didnt sleep well.Yet, no matter how bad it got for me, I didnt worry just ab unwrap myself as more as I did Lissa. She stood by her promise to change things. It was slow at first, barely gradually, I would see a vio permit or dickens come up to her at lunch or in shape and register hello. Shed turn on a brilliant make a face, laughing and talk of the town to them resembling they were all best friends.At first, I didnt understand how she was twist it gain. Shed told me she would use irresistible impulse to win the former(a) royals everywhere and turn them against Mia. nevertheless I didnt see it happening. It was possible, of course, that she was w inning people everywhere without compulsion. After all, she was funny, smart, and nice. Anyone would a wish well(p) her. roundthing told me she wasnt winning friends the old-fashioned way, and I finally figured it out.She was using compulsion when I wasnt round. I only saw her for a small set somewhat of the mean solar day, and since she knew I didnt approve, she only worked her power when I was away.After a roundwhat days of this secret compulsion, I knew what I needed to do I had to come out back in her head again. By choice. Id make it forrader I could do it again.At least, thats what I told myself, sitting and spacing out in Stans class one day. barely it wasnt as easy as Id thought it would be, partly because I felt too keyed up to relax and open myself to her thoughts. I also had trouble because I picked a time when she felt relatively calm. She came through the loudest when her emotions were running strong.Still, I attempt to do what Id done before, back when Id spied on her and Christian. The meditation thing. Slow breathing. eyeball closed. Mental focus like that be quiet wasnt easy for me, but at commodious last I managed the transition, slipping into her head and experiencing the world as hers. She stood in her American lit class, during project-work time, but, like well-nigh of the students, she wasnt working. She and Camille Conta leaned against a smother on the far side of the room, talking in hushed voices.Its gross, express Camille firmly, a frown crossing her pretty face. She had on a sick skirt do of velvet-like fabric, short enough to show off her long legs and possibly raise eyes somewhat the dress code. If you guys were doing it, Im not strike she got addicted and did it with Jesse.She didnt do it with Jesse, insisted Lissa. And its not like we had sex. We just didnt have both feeders, thats all. Lissa foc apply her full attention on Camille and smiled. Its no big deal. Everyones overreacting.Camille looked like she seriously doubted this, and then, the more she stared at Lissa, the more unfocused her eyes became. A blank look fell over her.Right? asked Lissa, voice like silk. Its not a big deal.The frown re turn. Camille tested to shake the compulsion. That incident that itd heretofore gotten this far was incredible. As Christian had observed, using it on Moroi was unhearable of.Camille, although strong-willed, lost the battle. Yeah, she give tongue to slowly. Its genuinely not that big a deal.And Jesses lying.She nodded. in spades lying.A mental strain burned inside of Lissa as she held onto the compulsion. It took a lot of effort, and she wasnt finished.What are you guys doing tonight?Carly and I are acquittance to contemplate for Matthesons test in her room.Invite me.Camille thought about it. Hey, you want to pick out with us?Sure, said Lissa, smiling at her. Camille smiled back.Lissa dropped the compulsion, and a wave of giddiness swept over her. She felt weak. Camille glance d more or less, flakearily move, then shook off the weirdness. See you later dinner then.See you, murmured Lissa, watching her walk away. When Camille was gone, Lissa reached up to tie her hair up in a ponytail. Her fingers couldnt quite get all the hair through, and suddenly, another pair of hands caught hold and helped her. She spun around and found herself staring into Christians ice-blue eyes. She jerked away from him.Dont do that she exclaimed, shivering at the realization that it had been his fingers touching her.He gave her his lazy, slightly twisted smile and brushed a few pieces of unruly black hair out of his face. Are you enquire me or ordering me?Shut up. She glanced around, both to avoid his eyes and adjudge sure no one saw them together.Whats the matter? Worried about what your slavesll think if they see you talking to me?Theyre my friends, she retorted.Oh. Right. Of course they are. I mean, from what I saw, Camille would belike do anything for you, right? Fri ends till the end. He crossed his arms over his chest, and in spite of her anger, she couldnt help but notice how the silvery colorise of his shirt set off his black hair and blue eyes.At least she isnt like you. She doesnt pretend to be my friend one day and then ignore me for no reason.An uncertain look flickered across his features. strain and anger had built up between them in the last week, ever since Id yelled at Christian after the royal reception. Believing what Id told him, Christian had stopped talking to her and had treated her rudely every time shed tried to start a conversation. Now, hurt and confused, shed given up attempts at cosmos nice. The situation just kept getting worse and worse.Looking out through Lissas eyes, I could see that he belt up cared about her and shut up wanted her. His pride had been hurt, however, and he wasnt about to show weakness.Yeah? he said in a low, cruel voice. I thought that was the way all royals were supposed to act. You certainly seem to be doing a well-grounded job with it. Or by chance youre just using compulsion on me to make me think youre a cardinal-faced bitch. Maybe you really arent. But I doubt it.Lissa flushed at the word compulsion and ramble another worried look around but decided not to give him the satisfaction of arguing anymore. She only gave him one last gleam before storming off to join a group of royals huddled over an assignment Returning to myself, I stared blankly around the classroom, processing what Id seen. Some tiny, tiny part of me was starting to feel sorry for Christian. It was only a tiny part, though, and very easy to ignore.At the beginning of the next day, I headed out to meet Dimitri. These practices were my favorite part of the day now, partly because of my doltish crush on him and partly because I didnt have to be around the others.He and I started with running as usual, and he ran with me, quiet and approximately gentle in his instructions, probably worried about causing some sort of breakdown. He knew about the rumors somehow, but he never mentioned them.When we finished, he led me through an offensive exercise where I could use any makeshift weapons I could find to attack him. To my surprise, I managed to land a few blows on him, although they seemed to do me more damage than him. The impacts always do me stagger back, but he never budged. It still didnt stop me from assail and attacking, fighting with an almost blind rage. I didnt cognize who I really fought in those moments Mia or Jesse or Ralf. Maybe all of them.Dimitri finally called a break. We carried the equipment wed used on the field and re dour everything to the supply room. While putting it away, he glanced at me and did a double take.Your hands. He swore in Russian. I could get it on it by now, but he refused to teach me what any of it meant. Where are your g cacoethess?I looked down at my hands. Theyd suffered for weeks, and today had only made them worse. The cold had tu rned the skin raw and chapped, and some parts were actually bleeding a little. My blisters swelled. Dont have any. Never needed them in Portland.He swore again and beckoned me to a chair while he retrieved a first-aid kit. Wiping away the blood with a wet cloth, he told me gruffly, Well get you some.I looked down at my washed-up hands as he worked. This is only the start, isnt it?Of what?Me. Turning into Alberta. Herand all the other female guardians. Theyre all leathery and stuff. Fighting and training and always organism outdoors they arent pretty anymore. I paused. Thisthis bread and butter. It destroys them. Their looks, I mean.He hesitated for a moment and looked up from my hands. Those warm brown eyes surveyed me, and something tightened in my chest. Damn it. I had to stop picture this way around him. It wont happen to you. Youre too He groped for the right word, and I mentally substituted all sorts of possibilities. Goddess-like. Scorchingly sexy. Giving up, he simply sai d, It wont happen to you.He turned his attention back to my hands. Did hedid he think I was pretty? I never doubted the reaction I caused among guys my own age, but with him, I didnt love. The tightening in my chest increased.It happened to my mom. She used to be beautiful. I guess she still is, sort of. But not the way she used to be. Bitterly, I added, Havent seen her in a while. She could look alone different for all I know.You dont like your mother, he observed.You noticed that, huh?You barely know her.Thats the point. She abandoned me. She left me to be raised by the Academy.When he finished cleaning my open wounds, he found a jar of salve and began rubbing it into the rough parts of my skin. I sort of got lost in the feel of his hands massaging mine.You say thatbut what else should she have done? I know you want to be a guardian. I know how much it means to you. Do you think she feels any differently? Do you think she should have quit to raise you when youd spend most of yo ur life here anyway?I didnt like having reasonable arguments thrown at me. Are you saying Im a hypocrite?Im just saying maybe you shouldnt be so hard on her. Shes a very consider dhampir woman. Shes set you on the path to be the same.It wouldnt kill her to visit more, I muttered. But I guess youre right. A little. It could have been worse, I suppose. I could have been raised with blood whores.Dimitri looked up. I was raised in a dhampir commune. They arent as bad as you think.Oh. I suddenly felt stupid. I didnt mean Its all right. He focused his attention back on my hands.So, did you, like, have family there? Grow up with them?He nodded. My mother and two sisters. I didnt see them much after I went to school, but we still keep in touch. Mostly, the communities are about family. at that places a lot of love there, no matter what stories youve heard.My bitterness returned, and I glanced down to hide my glare. Dimitri had had a happier family life with his disgraced mother and rela tives than Id had with my respected guardian mother. He most certainly knew his mother better than I knew mine.Yeah, butisnt it weird? Arent there a lot of Moroi men visiting to, you know?His hands rubbed circles into mine. Sometimes.There was something dangerous in his tone, something that told me this was an unwelcome topic. I-Im sorry. I didnt mean to bring up something badActuallyyou probably wouldnt think its bad, he said after almost a minute had passed. A tight smile organize on his lips. You dont know your experience, do you?I shook my head. No. alone I know is he must have had wicked sang-froid hair.Dimitri glanced up, and his eyes swept me. Yes. He must have. Returning to my hands, he said carefully, I knew mine.I froze. Really? Most Moroi guys dont stay I mean, some do, but you know, usually they just Well, he liked my mother. He didnt say liked in a nice way. And he visited her a lot. Hes my sisters father too. But when he camewell, he didnt treat my mother very we ll. He did some horrible things.Like I hesitated. This was Dimitris mother we were talking about. I didnt know how far I could go. Blood-whore things?Like pothering-her-up kinds of things, he replied flatly.Hed finished the bandages but was still holding my hands. I dont even know if he noticed. I certainly did. His were warm and large, with long and graceful fingers. Fingers that might have contend the piano in another life.Oh God, I said. How horrible. I tightened my hands in his. He squeezed back. Thats horrible. And sheshe just let it happen?She did. The corner of his mouth turned up into a sly, sad smile. But I didnt.Excitement surged through me. Tell me, tell me you mash the crap out of him.His smile grew. I did.Wow. I hadnt thought Dimitri could be any dispassionateer, but I was wrong. You beat up your dad. I mean, thats really horriblewhat happened. But, wow. You really are a god.He blinked. What?Uh, nothing. Hastily, I tried to change the subject. How old were you?He st ill seemed to be puzzling out the god comment. Thirteen.Whoa. Definitely a god. You beat up your dad when you were thirteen?It wasnt that hard. I was stronger than he was, almost as tall. I couldnt let him keep doing that. He had to learn that being royal and Moroi doesnt mean you can do anything you want to other people even blood whores.I stared. I couldnt believe hed just said that about his mother. Im sorry.Its all right.Pieces clicked into place for me. Thats why you got so disturb about Jesse, isnt it? He was another royal, trying to take advantage of a dhampir girl.Dimitri averted his eyes. I got upset over that for a lot of reasons. After all, you were breaking the rules, andHe didnt finish, but he looked back into my eyes in a way that made warmth build between us.Thinking about Jesse soon darken my mood, unfortunately. I looked down. I know you heard what people are saying, that I I know its not true, he interrupted.His immediate, certain answer surprised me, and I stup idly found myself questioning it. Yeah, but how do you Because I know you, he replied firmly. I know your character. I know youre passing to be a great guardian.His confidence made that warm feeling return. Im glad someone does. Everyone else thinks Im totally irresponsible.With the way you worry more about Lissa than yourself He shook his head. No. You understand your responsibilities better than guardians twice your age. Youll do what you have to do to succeed.I thought about that. I dont know if I can do everything I have to do.He did that cool one-eyebrow thing.I dont want to slide my hair, I explained.He looked puzzled. You dont have to cut your hair. Its not required.All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos.Unexpectedly, he released my hands and leaned forward. Slowly, he reached out and held a lock of my hair, twisting it around one finger thoughtfully. I froze, and for a moment, there was nothing going on in the world except him touching my hair. He le t my hair go, looking a little surprised and embarrassed at what hed done.Dont cut it, he said gruffly.Somehow, I remembered how to talk again. But no onell see my tattoos if I dont.He moved toward the doorway, a small smile playing over his lips. Wear it up.